Med en vinters förberedelser så körde jag och Paula Tough Viking, en regnig lördag i slutet på april. Det var iskallt och det absolut mest fysiskt krävande jag någonsin gjort. Men jag hade så kul och har redan planer få fler liknande lopp jag kommer köra. Tack till Paow för livets roligaste födelsedagspresent!
Några dagar senare fick jag ett ryck och anmälde mig till Göteborgsvarvet som skulle gå av stapeln två veckor senare. 100% spontant och precis lika ogenomtänkt. Innan detta hade jag sprungit 8km som längst, så oddsen var inte riktigt på min sida. Jag hann springa två långa distanser innan game day och dom kändes förvånansvärt bra. Själva varvet var precis hur jobbigt som helst, men ändå så mycket bättre än vad jag hade förväntat mig. Jag tog mig runt på strax över tå timmar och jag klappade mig stolt på axeln efteråt. Dagen efter anmälde jag mig till nästa år. Då ska jag vara mer förberedd och komma under två timmar. Nu ska jag bara klicka hem nya löparskor innan jag börjar springa igen.
Jag känner mig redo nu, tre månader senare, att skriva några rader om livet och allt vad det innebär. Det tog sin tid, men nu känner jag mig både stabilt- och mogen nog, att öppna det fortfarande läkande hjärtat. För läker det gör det fortfarande, men det gör inte så ont längre vid tanken på att livet i USA går vidare utan mig. Men det går inte en dag utan att jag tänker på allt jag varit med om, good and bad.
Att tre månader kunde gå så fort trodde jag aldrig, men å andra sidan så gick hela 2018 i rekordfart. Sen jag kom hem till Sverige har jag inte gjort så mycket, tänkte jag säga, men det har jag nog om jag tänker efter. Jag hade livets helg, dagarna innan jag sa hejdå till California. Min familj tog så väl hand om mig - vi mindes tillbaka på resan till Hawaii, New York och Michigan, dagarna vid poolen och alla timmar vi spenderat ihop i bilen sjungandes till Hamilton. Jag hängde i Berkley, tatuerade mig, gick på Great America och dansade natten lång med Sofia och Elin. Allt var så fint och jag sög åt mig livets finaste stunder som en tvättsvamp den sista månaden. När jag kramade min familj hejdå på flygplatsen så grät vi ihop, men jag slutade inte förrän jag landade i Göteborg ca 16 timmar senare (med några timmars undantag). När jag fått mina väskor sprang jag in i famnen på mamma, pappa och Paula som väntade med öppna armar på flygplatsen. Där och då blev jag hel igen. Jag blev kort där efter överraskad av Cornelia, Andrea, Erik och Andreas som stod och gömt sig i ett hörn. Aldrig har jag blivit så överraskad som då.. chocken var total (kolla min Instagram verathornblom om ni vill se min reaktion). Jag grät och vi kramades i flera minuter. Tack livet för dom och för alla andra som hade tänk komma men inte kunde - ni är det absolut finaste och viktigaste jag har. Ingen är så tacksam för er, som jag är. Veckorna efter träffade jag kompisar om vartannat, hade tid hos frissan, var i Stockholm över en helg med mamma, hälsade på pappa och Ingrid i Hunnebostrand, sökte lite jobb och skaffade gymkort. Efter tre veckor tillbaka i Sverige började jag jobba som montör och lagerarbetare åt ett bemanningsföretag i hopp om att få tillbaka en normal ekonomi och inte behöva leva på bröd och vatten mycket längre till, och där är jag än idag. På jobbet alltså, men nu fast anställd på företaget som bemanningsföretaget placerat mig hos. Sen kom julen, nyår och min födelsedag. Och där emellan var jag i Malmö i några dagar för att mysa med min bror och hans familj. Nyår var väldigt lyckat och på tolvslaget sjöng mina kompisar in min födelsedag med en nybakt prinsesstårta, min favorit, med en barbie i mitten av tårtan. Som sagt; världens bästa kompisar! Jag har säkert glömt massor, men det är okej. Jag har anpassat mig väldigt bra till livet här hemma och vad allt det innebär. Jag lever för rutiner och det har jag gott om här, vilket inte var lika lätt att skaffa sig i USA, även om dom så klart fanns. Så även om jag saknar att dricka Starbucks, gå på hikes, hänga vid min pool, träna i garaget, leka och mysa med mina kids, vädret i kubik(!!) och att köra bilen med alla rutor nerdragna, så är det väldigt skönt att vara hemma igen. Två år är en lång tid, och det är först nu jag har insett det. Det finns mycket att ta ikapp, även om det mestadels är roliga grejer. Men man inser ju först vad man har, när man får perspektiv på det. Typ Sverige. Det är så lätt och bekvämt att leva här, att jag ibland undrade varför jag ens lämnade det i första taget. Men sen kommer jag på över hundra anledningar till varför och tar genast tillbaka den tanken. USA är det bästa som någonsin hänt mig.
Vad som väntar i vår återstår att se. Jag har just skrivit kontrakt på jobbet för en längre anställning, så mina planer om att flytta till London sattes där och då på paus. Sen vill jag ju börja plugga någon gång, men när får vi se. Annars vill jag ta 2019 som det kommer - jag vill vara spontan och leva för stunden, säga ja till allt som mina kompisar vill göra och vara mitt bästa jag från början till slut. Det känns bra. I slutet på april ska jag och några kompisar springa Tough Viking och jag är_så_taggad. Att bli anmäld till det var min bästa födelsedagspresent, förutom barbietårtan och skönsången kl 00:00 den 1a Januari. Som sagt, jag har världens, universums, bästa kompisar pt.3. I sommar ska jag resa och se världen igen. Funderar på att dra till södra Europa och surfa i någon vecka, så om någon är sugen på att följa med let me know.
Idag bor jag hemma hos mamma i den lilla staden Alingsås och det känns okej för nu. Snart är jag ute och gör världen igen, som man längtar. Gillar idén av att inte veta vad som komma skall. Hur spännande?? Men tills jag vet mer så vet ni vart ni hittar mig; jobbet, gymmet eller på något fik någonstans i stan. Tack igen för att ni följt med på den här resan, det har varit så kul att få dela den med er. Vi hörs när vi hörs. Laters x.
Last weekend coming up. Spontaneous thoughts about that? Excited for what's yet to come, definitely. But I've had a constant headache for the past three-four days and lot of anxiety that's just boiling under my skin. But I feel ready to go back to Sweden now, which feels really good. I've done everything I wanted to do- and achieve during these 2 years, and more, so I feel like my job here is done. I'm really glad I don't feel the opposite, that I wish I went to more places or did things differently. But I'm ready to leave now, even though it's with a lot of tears and hard goodbyes that I say that.
Earlier this morning I did the Stanford hike with Giulia, went by Sephora to get something and when I got home I cleaned out my room so it's nice for the new au pair who's coming tonight.. this means I slept my last night in my room last night, so for my last sleeps I'll be in Bailey's room since grandpa Bob is in the guest room. Bailey is soo excited to have sleep overs with me for the whole weekend - it's all she's been talking about since Wednesday. Cutie! Last night I finished packing and cried my way through it. This morning I dropped off the kids for the last time in school, and when I walked back to my car I just couldn't hold the tears back any longer. I met a family friend on the way, Katie, and she hugged me and it was just what I needed. She's the best. Today is my very last working day, so I'm gonna spend the afternoon snuggling my kids until they get sick of me. Hope your weekend is filled with everything pumpkin and some nice weather. I'll talk to you again soon. xx
One week to go. I can't believe it, it's too surreal. I talked to my mom on the phone this morning, and before we hung up we said I'll see you next week. It feels so weird to say it, but still so right. After all this time, I will finally be able to run into my moms arms again. That feeling, mmm. So what's up? This weekend was chill, and I really needed it to be just that. Last night my family took me to Benihana for our last family dinner. The food was good as always, and the show was as funny as last time. At this restaurant you have your own chef who makes your food at your table. And while making the food he does a little show for you. After dinner we went home and shared some gifts with each other. I got a huge unicorn onesie - an exact copy of the one Bailey has - from Bailey, and when I put it on her eyes were glistening. She said "now we're unicorn twin sisters forever!" and my heart just melted. I also got some really nice coffee cups, a shirt and some other cute things. From me they got a photo album I've been working on the past months. It turned out really well and the whole family loved it. We all cried and Bailey said she wish I was her real sister so that I would never leave. My heart can't take much more...
This morning I picked up breakfast together with grammie and almost finished packing up all my things. There still some things left, but that's all the things I will need and use before next Monday. On Friday the new au pair comes here and I feel both happy and sad about it, but I guess that's pretty normal. Now I'm gonna go out for a run in the beautiful weather before grammie comes home with the kids. Talk soon xx
Hey guys, how’re your weekend going? I love weekends, seriously, it’s the best. I get to reload my batteries and after this week, it’s exactly what I needed. I had a tough week - I was in a bad mood and just really tired, and it isn’t really helping that I have all these things that I need to do before I go. Anyway. Yesterday I got off after I dropped the kids off at school, so my weekend started early this week. Let’s just take it back to last weekend real quick, cause I feel like haven’t updated in a long time, and just an FYI, thesis gonna be a pretty long post so if you're not into that you've been warned. Not that my life is very interesting, but I do see you guys that still peeks in here every now and then. Love ya. Back to last weekend. On Saturday I got on the train to San Fran at 10am to spend the day with Sofia and Elin. It was a gorgeous day, so we truly had the best time. First we went to Alcatraz - just me and Sofia cause Elin had already been -, since I felt like that was something I had to do before leaving. We took the ferry out to the island and it was such a nice ride, seeing SF from the water perspective. While at Alcatraz we got a headset that told us where to go and what we saw, and I found it very interesting. I can’t believe we walked on the same ground as these really dangerous people once did, not too long ago. Both me and Sofia agreed on that it was very fascinating and totally worth the money. We also watched the Blue Angels do their yearly airshow over the Bay, which was very fun seeing. Is it weird that I’m starting to feel like a bit like an American patriot..?
When we got back to SF we met up with Elin to go do a tram ride. But unfortunately they were down today, so we weren’t able to do it. Bummer.. So we came up with a new plan and went to Hayes Valley. Neither of us had ever been, but we sure got us a pleasant surprise. To be honest, neither of us likes SF that much, but this area changed our minds (at least for this place, the rest of SF is still gross). It was super cute and clean, with so many nice restaurants and cute boutiques. We had dinner at a greek place I don’t remember the name of, and it was super yummy and filling. Afterwards we walked up to Painted Ladies, since me and Sofia hadn’t been there before, and it didn’t look like I thought it would’ve. I thought the houses to be in way brighter colors, but really they just looked like all the other houses.. From here we went to get froyo from Loving Cup and it was so_good. Recommend! I was back home in my bed by 10:30pm and in that very moment I crashed in bed.
On Sunday that same weekend I met up with Malin at Santana Row to look in some stores and have coffee. I ended up getting a new winter jacket and a black nail polish from Urban bc they’re the bomb. At 7pm we met up with Sofia and Elin at Cheesecake Factory to have my ”goodbye dinner/celebrate Elin’s bday”. I had the same food as I always get there - salmon, mashed potatoes and asparagus with a lemon sauce, and a white chocolate macadamia cheesecake for dessert. I’m still full form this meal, just saying.. I had a great evening together with my friends that I’ll miss dearly. They’re the cutest.
Back to this week. I haven’t done much, but what I’ve done has been just enough. I went hiking in Stanford one day, worked out a couple of times and ran some errands. On Friday (as in yesterday) I was early, as I said before, so I tanned for a bit, did an ok workout and did some packing. In the afternoon got a new tattoo I’ve been wanting to do for a while now. I’m gonna show it to you in a separate post, cause it really deserves that. I’m so so so in love with it and I can not wait to show you. After about 2 hours in the studio I went with Elin and Sofia to Great America - Haunted House. I’ve never been so scared in my life before, so I didn’t really enjoy it lol. But the rides were great, so that part was fun. Today, Saturday, I’ve been extremely tired for a unknown reason, so I’ve just been hanging out at home - I took a nap outside, went for a PW and did a Starbucks run. Right now I’m in bed eating popcorn and are about to turn the light off. No partying for me this weekend, and it_feels_so_good. Tomorrow I’m going the farmers market in the morning and at night my family are gonna take me out for dinner. Nine days to go…
Since I've been here for quite some time now, and since I'm about to say goodbye to my beloved America in a second, I thought I'd share some things I will miss about living in the U.S. It's obviously so many more things than this, but some things I'll keep to myself and some things that I can't think of right now. I might get back to this when I'm back in Sweden. Anyway, here it goes!
As I said in my last post, I’m back home from the road trip since Sunday night, but I’d do anything to go back in time and do it all agin. We had the time of our lives and looking back at it, I wouldn’t change a single thing. It was very intense at times (or all the time tbh) since we had a lot of driving to do and a lot of places to check off. But there isn’t one place I regret going to, or not going to for that matter, cause we really went to- and did everything we wanted to. It wasn’t cheep, but it was something we had saved up for, for quit some time. And it was oh-so worth it. I’m so happy I did this together with my other half, sister and best friend. Paula was the best travel buddy and co-driver, and I appreciate and respect her so damn much. She’s the funniest and most real person, and there’s absolutely no one I’d rather have spent every second of the day with, the past 8 days, than her. You’re so precious and lovable, and I love you so fricken much, Paow. You’re my person.
If I have time over before I go back to Sweden, I’ll definitely share as much as possible from the trip. I want to tell you everything about all the places we went to - I'd love to give them each a separate post cause they all really deserve that. But I have a lot on my plate right now, so we’ll see how many I have time to do before I need to prioritize other things. Like closing bank accounts and other boring stuff. Anyway. The first post from the trip will hopefully be up later today, if not, tomorrow. It’ll be about the first night and our first real stop; Moab, Utah. Stay tuned.
Besides the trip, which took up most of my time before going away, there’s not much going on right now. I’m drained and need to catch back up on some sleep, so I’m trying to keep this week pretty easy breezy. So far I haven’t done more than FaceTimeing my family and Emma, did my first work out in two weeks and kept working on some paperwork I have to finish asap. This weekend I’m going to Alcatraz with Sofia and on Sunday I’m having a goodbye dinner at Cheesecake Factory with some friends that I might not see again before I leave. But that’s about it. Maybe go to the farmers market, I love that Sunday tradition. Anyways, I’m gonna go put on a face mask and watch the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy now. Later xx
The pictures are btw from Urban Lights from when we were in LA. I've only seen them at daytime before, and I gotta tell you that this visit was way prettier. Love this art constellation.
From one day to another September turned to October, just in time for the leaves to start changing colors and the Pumpkin Spice Lattes to take over every coffee shop around the country. It’s my second fall in the U.S. and I think I love it a little bit more today than I did last year. If that’s even possible.. With that said, happy 21 months in the States and 9 months in California, to me! September went by faster than ever and I absolutely loved every day of that month (except when I was sick with strep throat cause that wasn’t fun at all..). My last three weeks as an au pair and as a Californian has come and my emotions are just all over the place. It’s been a two years long rollercoaster that’s just about to do its last loop, and I’m carsick like never before. But I made it! I’m filled with so much happiness and gratitude, that most of my tears are happy tears. But I’m also so scared and nervous about leaving that I feel like I might need to throw up.
Mine and Paulas road trip was the best possible ending to my time here, so now I just need to push through for another three weeks before the day has come. She’s going back to Sweden later this week, so I’m happy I will have her to come home to when I get back. Since we’ve had a lot of similar experiences, we will always have each other to relate to, which feels so comforting. What’s up before Sweden you may ask? Coming up during my last three weeks are some fun things like going to Alcatraz, goodbye dinner with some friends, I’m going shopping and ofc spend as much quality time as possible with my family. I’m also gonna start packing up my things, close my bank accounts and send out some job applications in Sweden. I’m not too worried about the future more than the fact that I really need a job. Lol. But I’m sure I’ll get one, and if not I’ll just take it from there. I’m also gonna show you some pictures and tell you about the toad trip when I get a minute over, so keep an eye out for that. Talk soon and happy fall<3
I can not believe my very last trip in the U.S is about to happen. I’ve been to 20 states since I got here in January 2017, now I only have three more to check off before I’m done traveling the States for this time Most of my money has defiantly been used for traveling - flight tickets, rental cars, air bnb etc - and that's just what I want to spend my money on. Some of favorite trips I’ve done during these (almost) 21 months has been..
And speaking of traveling...
Above: Boston, Portland and Acadia
Virginia Beach all the way
North Carolina
You know I’m going on a road trip with Paula today, right? Not sure how you could’ve missed it since it’s like the only thing I’ve been talking about the past months.. lol sorry about that. The road trip is starting in Denver, CO which is where I’m going today (I'm ready to take off any minute now actually). I’m gonna pick up a rental car and drive for 3h to Aspen to pick up P, then we’re gonna spend the night in Grand Junction, CO. I can’t wait to see my girl and to do this crazy trip together!! After Colorado we’re gonna go to some nationalparks - Bryce Canyon, Antelope Canyon, Horseshoe Bend and Grand Canyon. We’re gonna spend a night in Vegas and four nights along the coast in California. In total we will drive through five states and stop in seven different cities to spend one or more nights. Besides that we’re gonna do some things along the way that will be more spontaneous than planned. Those thing are usually the ones that turns out to be the best memories in the end. (Even though I'm a sucker for doing research and planning in advance lol..)
Texas (and the best tacos I've ever had, still dreaming about it..)
Florida - Orlando and Miami
I’m finally feeling better since getting the penicillin did its magic for my strep throat, so now I'm more than ready and overly excited to get on the flight and get this very last (but def not least) trip started. I know Paow is as excited as I am, so I can’t wait to see her this afternoon if everything goes as planned. Until then, cross your fingers for me that everything will go smoothly and that there will be no problem when picking up the rental car (there’s always problems at car rentals..). I’ll talk to you again in a few days. Take care xx
Ps. Today in a month I’ll be boarding the flight back to Sweden. The anxiety I have over this is not keeping me calm what so ever. Trying not to think about it today though.. But I can not WAIT to see my mom.. and my friends.. gahhh!! There’s obviously a lot of emotions going through my head right now..
Above: Nashville, TN.
Below: Hawaii
Remember on Sunday when I said I was feeling like I was getting a cold? That absolutely happened. On Monday I woke up having the worst pain in my throat, and when I looked into my mouth to see what was going on, I saw I had small blisters in the back of my throat (sorry for saying that out loud..). And when I woke the kids up Owen was a mess, crying hysterically and I just didn't know what to do, since I was in a lot of pain too. Jesse decided Owen was gonna spend the day at home, so there went my idea out of the window of going to see a doctor. So I went yesterday instead, Tuesday. As I predicted, the doctor said I had strep throat (halsfluss som det heter på svenska) and gave me penicillin for it. My insurance covered most of my visit, but I think I'll get bill in the mail with a $35 charge, which is fine. Although I paid $50 the penicillin, so it'll turn out pretty pricy in the end. Anyway. I'm still working, even though Jesse has covered the nights for me the past two days, but I should really just lay in bed and not work at all - that's what the doc said, since I'm very contagious. But I'm trying to rest when the kids are in school, and this afternoon I'm gonna let them watch a movie to make it easier on myself. On Saturday I'm going on this trip and it's stressing me out that I'm this sick just days before.. so even though I'm not religious at all, I'm almost about to say a prayer for me to get better until then. The pain is almost unbearable, plus that I can't barely eat or talk. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that I'll be better until Saturday. Thanks. Have a great day now<3
