My name is Anna Berkane, however, since I hate my biological mum I decided to remove all my names and choose a name for myself. My name is going to be MELISSA BERKANE. She is not even worth calling mum because she have done something that I will never ever forgive. For me she is dead and besides I never grew up with her so the mother and father of my heart is my fosterparents. Unfortunatelly they are both dead. May they rest in peace. I am married to a wonderful man from Algeria and the reson why I decided to write my diary in english is because almost all my friends are from abroad.
In this diary I am going to write about everything and put some photos from my adventures. I will try to write every day about how I will, my thoughts, happenings and much more. So, I am happy for the very first time of my life. My husband use to say that I look different now comparing to when we first met. I look more relaxed now. I do not work because I do not need to. I love to stay at home and relax. I love my life and before 10 years ago I could not even dream of getting what I have today. I am at home, the summer is here, I have my coffee, my ciggarettes, my sweets and I sit in the terrace. Can life be more complete? I have no stress, no "must-do", I get to travel at least twice a year abroad and my husband buy whatever I want to have. What more can a woman ask for? I love him so much and I am going to be with him until the day I die. Once, before my biological mother and I broke off, she said to me that I will end up like her. Lonely, pessimistic, negative. I just say: NO CHANCE THAT IT WILL HAPPEND. She is just jealous. How on earth can a mother be jealous of her child? Shouldn´t she be happy for her instead? I can not take her and I wish that she was dead. I know it´s harsh words but let me tell you like this: When she got a stroke in January 2009 I rescued her and saved her life. I helped her to clean her place, I arranged for her some help in the home and I took care of her bloody cat when she was in the hospital. In this time I was not feelingf well myself. I had an hugh depression and was admitted to hospital with permissions. I forgot my own health to help her. And this is how she repay me. She doesn´t deserve to be in my life yet be my mother. I have no mother anymore. She can go to hell. And with those words I will never write about her again because she is not worth wasting energy.....
Thank you all my friends on facebook for being such good friends. Many of you have been my friends for 1 or 2 years now. Happy summer and take care of each other. I have made an expression myself. That is: EVERYTHING YOU DO I WILL DO BETTER.
